RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

All of our seating is walk in, first come, first served. Find an open table that looks good and have a seat. There is no host or hostess.  There are no reservations. If you stand at the door too long, someone will eventually come over and ask you if you need help.  No one is going to direct you to an assigned seat. Likewise no one is going to make you stand up front for 45 minutes until the kitchen has time to take on your new order. We welcome you to find a seat, relax, and enjoy a couple drinks and some face-to-face human interaction while you wait for your food.  

The biggest difference between us and other restaurants? Instead of making you stand at the door for 45 minutes to wait for a table before we let you sit down so that you can wait another 30+ minutes for your food, we let you go ahead and grab a table, sit down and relax, and enjoy a drink while you wait for the kitchen to be able to take on your ticket and cook your order. If you prefer the traditional ‘standing to wait’ format, we recommend dining elsewhere. Due to the unfortunate rise in popularity of takeout and delivery orders, our kitchen is usually busier than our dining area appears to be. We also have a large dining area in general, so just because you only see us ‘half full’ doesn’t mean our kitchen isn’t busy.  When’s the last time you cooked for 100 people at once? We aren’t a fast food joint. With the exception of a few fried items, we make most of our food here.  We hand patty all our burgers fresh. We slice and dice all those vegetables we sauté for your omelet. We hand bread all our chicken tenders and pork tenderloins after you order them.  If you order a well-done half-pound burger, be prepared to wait at least 25 minutes, (or a whole lot longer) because that’s just how long it takes to desiccate a giant mound of fresh ground beef without using a microwave. We can do lunch service pretty quickly on weekdays, but during peak business hours, which always include Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday mornings, it’s not unusual for wait times on food to approach or surpass 1 hour. We know, we know; We suck soooo bad. Worst in town. That’s why so many people order our food. 

We do not take reservations. Our seating is walk in, first come, first served. Even if you call ahead and speak to an employee to give us a “heads up” about your group, you still don’t have a reservation.  Even if you’re a group of teachers, we still don’t take reservations. (PSA: Plumbers and bank tellers are just as important as you.) You may arrive up to 30 minutes before the rest of your group to save a table, and there must be at least 1 patron seated at each table you wish to hold. If after 30 minutes you still only have 4 people occupying 16 seats, we’re going to ask you to move. 

Birthday cakes are fine. Your Arby’s bag, Shakespeare’s pizza, aluminum bottle, and those cute little airport shots are not. Depending on the nature of your offense, you’ll be asked to dispose of what you brought, or leave the premises entirely.

Missouri state law requires you to have a valid ID to purchase alcohol. If we ask to see your ID, show it. If you refuse to show your ID, you will not be served alcohol, and if you argue about it, you’ll be asked to leave. We don’t care how old you think you look 

We like all kinds of music, and we know you do too. We have a digital jukebox for your custom listening pleasure, but we reserve the right to skip anything you play at any time, for any reason ~ especially if you want to play filth at 10am on a Sunday morning while the kiddos are enjoying brunch with their parents, or if you want to play that one Tom Jones song 12 times in a row on a Saturday night. Be considerate of your fellow humans or we will edit your selections. Play at your own risk. No refunds.

Tipping is currently customary and expected at full-service bars and restaurants in the United States of America. If you’ve ever written, “taxation is theft” on the tip line of your credit card receipt, please be aware that we don’t play nice with your special kind of stupid. Tipping isn’t a tax, and your beef is with the bureaucracy, not your server. If you think stiffing a server or leaving a terrible tip is your “right,” then you should go dine at an establishment where your food is thrown at you in a bag across the counter. Full-service dining and drinking is for civilized human beings who appreciate the indulgent convenience and are willing to compensate other humans for the privilege.  No one here owes you anything simply because you walk through our door.

Our employees are not second-class citizens, nor are they servants-for-lease during your dining experience; They work here at their pleasure, for your pleasure, as long as you treat them with courtesy and respect. If you do not treat them in a way that they or we see fit, you will be asked to leave, at whatever point we’ve had enough of your idiocy.  We genuinely don’t care how special you think you are.  Please don’t make us show you.

We want you to stay safe. If you have a debilitating or serious allergy to a food ingredient, we ask that you simply do not eat here. While we will do our best to let you know what the ingredients of a specific menu item are, we absolutely cannot guarantee the total absence of any ingredient due to the nature of our menu and our cooking methods. While we do have meatless items on our menu, we do not offer specialized vegetarian or vegan options or cooking methods. We do not have gluten-free menu items. If any of this is a deal breaker for you, we encourage you to patronize one of the other lovely locally owned restaurants here in Columbia that does cater to your diet. 

If you want to make a special request to modify our menu items, feel free to ask, but understand that it’s definitely going to cost extra, and there’s even a possibility we’ll tell you ‘No.’ And we can do that, because this is not your restaurant. It’s ours. When you have your own restaurant, you can do whatever you want.

We don’t give refunds for food or mixed drinks that were prepared correctly simply because you don’t like them. If something is legitimately wrong with your food or drink or it was prepared incorrectly, please politely tell your server as soon as possible so we can fix it. We know we make mistakes sometimes.  If you eat all your food and expect a discount because it ‘wasn’t very good,’ expect to be laughed at and told no. If you’re the type of person who might feel compelled to tell us you want a refund because you “didn’t like” your burger toppings, or that your Long Island should be free because it doesn’t taste the same as the one you got at Applebee’s, be prepared to hear what the bartender thinks about that, and about you. 

Truman’s Bar and Grill is private property. We welcome you to be our guest, but we reserve the right to end that relationship and refuse you service, temporarily or permanently, at any time, at our sole discretion, for reasons including but not limited to rudeness; poor hygiene; fighting; suspected illegal activity; offensive clothing, jewelry, or accessories that are gang-related, promote violence, or may cause any type of disruption; and/or literally any other type of behavior that we don’t like. Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit.